I’ve read this reading from First Corinthians many times, and maybe you have too. We tend use it for prayer services about community and unity in diversity because it affirms the variety of gifts God has given us. When we think about real life in communities and in families, though, how does a diversity of spiritual gifts manifest? Do we really affirm the gifts in each person? Do we appreciate our own gifts?

There have been times when I’ve taken the gist of this reading and intentionally tried to apply it. When I was a campus minister, one of the biggest, and most favorite, parts of my job was planning student retreats. I would gather a planning team of students with a variety of gifts so we’d have a good balance. I’m pretty self-aware, so I know that I tend to have a vision for things and forget about small details. Luckily, our campus ministry program was full of engineering students, and having a few of those on the team would ensure that our schedule made sense and that we wouldn’t forget to bring food for breakfast.

Besides creating a balanced team, what I was trying to do was give students an opportunity to recognize and use their gifts for our community. When I was a student, my ministers did that for me, and it’s an essential part of ministering with students. They’re still growing into themselves and learning what their gifts are, and retreat planning was a wonderful way to nurture those gifts. Sometimes students were eager to try new things. Sometimes they were reluctant, afraid of failure, but if things didn’t go perfectly (and they never did), it was still okay. Everything was the work of the Spirit, and we trusted that. God always filled in the gaps of what we lacked, and every year as we recognized our gifts and limitations, we witnessed the presence of God – and our retreatants did too. Retreat planning gave us a chance to build each other up, and the process bonded us together too. Some of the friendships that began on those teams continue today. Some of those students are married to each other, and they have little teams of their own now.

I loved this time with students, but I recognize that I’m seeing it with the pretty view of hindsight, but at the time, it could get stressful and difficult. There were some students who didn’t use their gifts, or do much of anything. We didn’t always agree, and there could be tension. A diversity of gifts sounds so nice, but it can be messy, and this is true of all kinds of communities, including families. What happens when someone is so different than me that I don’t see their gift as gift, and it seems like more of a quirky, annoying quality? Or, what happens when someone has a gift that I wish I had? It’s easy to look past our own giftedness and wish we had the gifts of someone else. That can play out in a big way in communities and families. Sometimes it comes from something within that whispers that we’re not good enough, or sometimes it’s fostered in environments where some people’s gifts are affirmed and others’ gifts are not. Either way, if people feel they’re not good enough, they may disengage. Or, they may become envious or resentful. I’ve been reading Brené Brown’s new book, Atlas of the Heart, in preparation for our upcoming young adult book group, and I’ve learned that envy is the emotion that makes us want something that someone else has.* Resentment is part of the same family of emotions. “Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgement, anger, ‘better than,’ and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice” (33). Wow. I’ve been there, and I’ve watched other people express those feelings too.

What do we do with that? How can we affirm the gifts of each person so that no one feels slighted or overlooked, envious or resentful? I’m not sure, but what I do know is this problem has existed since the dawn of the first Christian communities. Maybe that’s why this passage from First Corinthians was written in the first place. Also, we see plenty of evidence in the Gospels of the disciples bickering with each other. Who’s the greatest? Who’s right? Who’s the disciple that Jesus loves the most? I wonder if Jesus rolled his eyes a lot during the time he was on earth or if he was able accept it all with patience.

To say that Jesus had an abundance of spiritual gifts is an understatement, of course, but I think even he had to grow into his gifts. When we look at this Sunday’s Gospel, the story of the wedding at Cana, we see that he has to be prompted by his mother to step up and use his gifts. Turning water into wine is not one of the spiritual gifts listed in First Corinthians, but Jesus uses it as such. Not only does he save the party, but what happens becomes a spiritual experience for those who witness it. No one seems envious or resentful. Mostly, they’re just happy to have more wine.

Maybe the solution to resentment is to give people wine, but more than likely it’s to trust the goodness of each person and ourselves – and to create communal spaces that affirm the gifts of each person too. I know that when I’m grounded in the reality that we all have gifts, and when I’m genuinely grateful for what I have, both my personal strengths and all the good things happening in my life, I’m not likely to be resentful of someone else. When I have what I need, I don’t wish for what someone else has (33). I don’t feel entitled to everything either. Last week when I was reflecting on belovedness, it occurred to me that when people feel entitled, it’s not really because they think they’re better than everyone else. It’s because they feel like they don’t have enough of what they need or deserve. If people could get enough of what they need, and if we could recognize the good things we have already, I think we’d stop reaching for more and just become content.

Also, we are followers of Christ, and any gifts we have are not about us or for us. This reading from First Corinthians tells us that “to each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.” Our spiritual gifts are not our own; our gifts are for service. Our gifts come from God for the benefit of others. We’re just vessels for the goodness of God, and the more accepting we are, the more open we are to the good that God wants to do in and through us.

For Reflection:

• Have you ever struggled to recognize your own gifts?

• Have you ever resented someone else for the gifts they have? What effect does that have on you? Does it move you toward or away from God?

• What helps you to be grateful for your strengths?

• What helps you to feel free to use your gifts, to try new things, to grow?

• Let’s take a moment of silence to see what God has to say to us about our gifts.

*Brown, Brené. Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. Vermilion, 2021.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.

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